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Dear Friends & Foes, As of today, I have 282 consecutive days on Insight Timer, a meditation app that I started using daily late last year. I found a meditation teacher and spiritual guide who really speaks to my heart, mind, soul and spirit named Olivia Jackson. I typically do a meditation when I wake up (after I play NYT Spelling Bee :), and also as I am falling asleep. I have also done it during the day if I am having a rough one. My favorite meditation is called "Gradual Path to Non-duality" (which I will share a link to below), but I love many of Olivia's courses and meditations. The most pertinent thing that I have learned in the past year is how to be spacious and open, especially in order to process trauma. As Olivia states, people often constrict around their trauma and then it becomes frozen in our body and buried deep in our mind, where it is there to haunt and torment us. It can then become a revolving door and vicious spiral or vortex of energy in our body, mind and spirit since it is trapped within, and this can lead to complex and compound trauma, which I have been experiencing in the past few years. I have mentioned in previous posts about my childhood trauma, which was being with my brother, Christopher, as he was hit by a truck while we were riding bicycles. That happened on this day, August 19th, back in 1981. Last evening, I was thinking about the fact that we started school within a week or so of this unimaginable trauma. I did not even really talk to anyone about it for many years, and it is all such a blur and I have very few memories of this point in time. This trauma happened to me at the young age of 9, and since there was not the awareness of PTSD and the like back in the early 1980s, and since my trauma was so acute, so dark and so incredibly deep, I never learned to process it or to release it to the universe until recently. I did finally start talk therapy for this trauma in my late 20s, and that helped me to survive, although I did still struggle with mind altering substances since that incredible trauma was buried so deep within. It was not until I did the biochemical testing and started my nutrient protocol for undermethylation in 2019 that it has become very easy for me to moderate or abstain from self medicating. I did EMDR in 2017 to help me to process the trauma from where it was stored in my body, but then I seemed to transfer some of that trauma and the pain and suffering onto another situation that was honestly related as it was the last of my Chris money from his accident which I used to pay for the wetlands parcel adjacent to my property that I purchased in 2016. (On a side note and in case anyone is wondering, it is also the underlying reason that I was accused of 'stalking', which I feel was a false, extremely unfair and absurd accusation and situation. It still seems so unreal, insane and sexist to me. I am negatively impacted by this more than anyone could ever imagine. I have had trouble finding better employment, making new friends or networking to achieve my goals and dreams. It is so heartbreaking, but I am trying my best to be strong and rise above. If anyone would ever care to see my ample evidence or to listen to my truth and narrative, please reach out to me any time as I am an open book. Also, just a reminder to not believe everything you read or see on the internet). Well, now that I have learned about spaciousness & openness and how to tap into this beautiful resource with just a few moments of meditation, I feel that it has brought me to the next level of finally moving past my childhood trauma after 44 years of carrying it around deep within my mind, body and spirit. I feel more calm, peaceful, spacious and open than ever before in my life. It is such a beautiful gift. I highly recommend, especially for anyone who has trauma they have not been able to process through talk therapy or other means. https://insighttimer.com/OliviaJackson/guided-meditations/gradual-path-to-non-duality I also wanted to share my progress on my physical journey as it all seems to be interrelated, which only makes sense. As I have shared previously, after suffering many decades of mysterious physical pain and ailments, I discovered the main culprit was oxalate sensitivity, which goes hand in hand with being undermethylated and not having the necessary nutrients to properly process oxalates. I have discovered that if I take calcium citrate with every meal, then my physical pain has essentially disappeared. My body is still healing from a lifetime of abuse and oxalate overload, but I have made significant progress and feel that I have turned a huge corner at long last and hopefully before irreparable damage was done. Here is a link to the calcium citrate that I feel is most effective and high quality: https://www.pureformulas.com/product/calcium-citrate-by-pureformulas/1000026734?srsltid=AfmBOopgPFkD0fYVFm8uw4FBajrheCdBCP7mbGQ7iJkRvjE33AtMiCp And here are a couple links to check out if you would like more basic information on oxalate sensitivity and autism/ undermethylation. As I mentioned previously, there is not much information out there yet, but hopefully more research will be done on this most pertinent topic soon. https://www.westonaprice.org/health-topics/vegetarianism-and-plant-foods/the-role-of-oxalates-in-autism-and-chronic-disorders https://www.lowoxalate.info/papers/history_autism_ox_proj.html Lastly, I have a book recommendation for anyone who is interested or so inclined- "The Universal Christ" by Richard Rohr. I am actually rereading it as it was so much to process upon first read and reflection. It is similar in many ways to the meditation that I am doing- learning to be spacious, open and tapping into the incredible power of non-duality and of the universe and life force. It is very different than the Christ and religion that I was raised with, but I feel that it is far more representative of what Christianity truly is and ought to be. Here is one of my favorite quotes from chapter 1: "But God loves things by becoming them. God loves things by uniting with them, not by excluding them." I honestly have considered myself more of a pantheist than Christian the past 35 years, but with this new perspective and paradigm shift, I can see and feel how Christianity can be all- encompassing and inclusive of everyone and everything, which is my true nature and inclination. It's not always easy for me, and I have much to learn and room to grow, but I am really trying to be a positive force in the world as this is extremely important to me. I hope and pray for a mass movement in humanity in this direction as we sure could use more peace, love, understanding, kindness, compassion, forgiveness, inclusion and acceptance in our world. Thank you for reading and for caring. Love, me (: LCP :)  Dear Friends and Followers, I took the time last evening to finally update my photography page as it has been years since I last updated it. I have been posting the photos to Flickr on a regular basis, but I wanted to share them all here as I am disabling my Flickr account. Looking back over the past decade of my life here on Tuscawilla, I must say that it has been the most beautiful, wonderful, magical time in so many ways- to be immersed in nature in such an incredibly gorgeous place in space and time. I feel so incredibly blessed and fortunate in countless ways. I count my blessings every day. Of course at the same time, it has also been the most challenging time yet as I have also (over)shared far too many times. I suppose that it would be accurate and also cliche to say that it has been the best of times and also the worst of times. It seems that such is life- you take the good, you take the bad, and there you have: the facts of life. It is a sad and beautiful world full of wonderful, joyous moments, but also so much pain and suffering at times. I am more fortunate than most other people in the world even though I have been in survival mode and barely hanging on at times. It has been mostly because I love my homeplace and surroundings so much that I would really love to stay here for at least another decade. I have planted and cultivated so many wildflowers that I would love to watch grow. I would love to start my native plant nursery, Swamp Flora Farm, and get back into my woodworking side business, Tuscawilla Skyline Design, and just try my best to live a simple, peaceful life and be kind, thoughtful and helpful to others as much as I can. I have felt overwhelmed for many reasons, and I have also been suffering incredible loss- my father, my dear sister, Mary, my fur baby and BFF, Deebo, and also even my sense of community in a place that I have lived for a long time, and that I have always loved. I have also been working through incredible historic trauma and also current complex trauma as well, so I have not really been myself the past few years. I am feeling much better and more optimistic now thanks to the many tools that I have learned in the past handful of years. Thank you all for understanding and for being kind, thoughtful, compassionate, considerate and forgiving of me and my many imperfections. I am doing my best, but aren't we all.. It is a wild and crazy world, life and ride, so I think it is so important to forgive and forget and to be kind to ourselves and to others as best we can. I am really trying to be the change that I wish to see in the world even though it does not always come naturally to me. Thank you so much for reading and for caring. Thank you so much for taking the time to see the world and my life through my eyes the past decade. I am so grateful and blessed. https://www.laurapredny.com/photography-tuscawilla.html#/ Love, me Here is a gallery of some of my faves: PSA! I just love the River Phoenix Center for Peacebuilding. They are doing wonderful things throughout our community, country and world. I dream of the day when conflict resolution and peacebuilding are the norm instead of division, polarization, mass incarceration, our antiquated, insane, highly illogical, fiscally irresponsible legal system, and also ongoing conflict and issues in families, which I have also sadly been suffering from the past couple years as well as in my community. I am really trying to work on inner peace and self-love so that I can be the change that I dream of in our community, world and even in my family, although this does not necessarily come naturally to me due to my upbringing and also conditioning. There is a better way and greater good that I would like to believe that we are evolving towards, however, and I am trying my best to be a genuine, positive, optimistic, peaceful person myself. "Community conflict continues to drive animosity, polarization, and violence that we can see in our neighborhoods, workplaces, schools, families, and relationships. Currently, when a local conflict occurs, the options for recourse are predominantly limited to those offered by the civil and criminal justice system which may be difficult, expensive, time-consuming, and disempowering, and lack the ability to offer a response that addresses the conflict in a holistic, human-centered way. Furthermore, conflicts that are personal in nature are often neglected by these approaches altogether and left entirely unaddressed. While conflict happens, our response is up to us. The Conflict Solution Hub is a new, innovative way of providing the tools, resources, strategies, and spaces necessary to address conflict comprehensively and appropriately." https://www.centerforpeacebuilding.org/conflict-solution-hub  Happy birthday to my older brother, Christopher Robert Predny, who was born 55 years ago today in Gainesville, Florida to Faye and Robert Predny. He departed this world in 2005, and it is so hard to believe that it has been 20 years now this June. I wanted to share these photos of Chris on this website as I have shared them on social media previously, but since I have been on an extended hiatus from that medium, I thought I would share them with you all here. Also, since it has been so long, many people might not know the incredible story of my amazingly resilient brother who survived a very tragic accident when he was 11 years old as he was hit by a truck while we were riding bikes. He suffered severe brain damage as a result, and it was honestly a miracle that he lived. I was with him when this happened, and it has always haunted me, although I feel that I have finally healed from the devastating impact this has had on me for most my life (for the most part :). Chris's accident had a profound impact on our family in immeasurable ways. Our lives were forever changed, but it was honestly in mostly positive ways in spite of the numerous challenges over the years. Chris was such a stubborn soul and a born fighter. It was incredible not only that he survived but also thrived and touched countless lives by teaching them that you truly cannot judge a book by its cover or a young man by his disabilities and physical deformities. My parents also showed the world that a family could have a somewhat normal and even beautiful existence in spite of a tragedy. It was definitely not always easy and there was also much pain and suffering, but overall, we had a very beautiful and amazing life with Christopher as you can see from the photos below. I am eternally grateful to Chris as thanks to him and my family, I have had a wonderful life thus far with a wealth of experiences and many cherished memories with him and my family. I have also been able to travel and see some beautiful places and focus on doing artwork and such the past 20 years as he left me with an inheritance that afforded me the ability and flexibility to do these things, which has been such an incredible gift. I also was able to purchase my lovely home and property thanks to him in many ways. I actually spent the last of my Chris money on the wetlands parcel, which is why it has been so meaningful and significant to me, and I suppose it is why there has been such chaos and trauma involved in it in many ways- due to the historic trauma of it all, perhaps? I am not quite sure of the reason why, but I do believe that there is a higher power looking out for me (and sometimes testing me ;) and that there must be reasons for all the madness, especially since there have been so many sparkly silver linings as well. Hopefully I can manifest more peace in my life, community and family in the near future, especially since I am feeling much more inner peace and self-love these days. I genuinely feel that I am at a huge turning point in my life where I am able to finally heal from the deepest wounds related to my childhood trauma and Chris's accident, although I am sure that I will always be a work in progress in many ways :). Lastly, it is honestly quite heartbreaking to have already lost not only one, but now two siblings in addition to my father. To lose Mary a couple years ago was truly the darkest time ever for me, not just to lose her, but to suffer from so much loss in my family already is very sad and painful. Thank you so much to everyone who has been there for me, especially the past few years. I am so incredibly grateful to have a handful of dear friends, kind, thoughtful neighbors and all my furry and feathered friends here on Tuscawilla, as well as the rest of the beautiful flora and fauna that I am surrounded by. Thank you for reading and for caring. Love you. Love, Me.  Merry Christmas to all from Tuscawilla south! I woke up to a trio of Sandhill cranes at my feeders and the handful of Painted buntings that have been frequent visitors, which is a beautiful gift that I never take for granted. I feel so fortunate and blessed to be surrounded by nature and such beauty. It is truly such a wonderful gift.
I wanted to share with you all today the revised portrait of my father, Dr Robert Michael Predny (aka Bob, Dad, Papa). I attempted to do this portrait a few years ago, but I felt that it was really off and did not quite capture him, so I decided to revisit it. I feel that it is much more accurate now and that it really captures his essence beautifully. I love the way it turned out, and it is one of my favorites, much like my father. I put this portrait on display in the Alachua County Jack Durrance Conference Room the past few months alongside the portrait that I did of my mother many years ago. This was especially meaningful and significant to me as my parents met in Gainesville while they were both attending the University of Florida. My father was in a PhD program for Chemistry, and my mother was an undergraduate and Gator band member who ended up getting her degree in English and education. They were both active members in the Saint Augustine Catholic student club, the Newman Club, and this is where they met and fell in love. My older sister, Robin Michelle, was born in Gainesville- a Christmas Eve baby, which was very fitting for them, and my older brother, Christopher Robert, a bit over a year later. My father taught at Gainesville High School for a year and then they went to Baltimore for a year for my father to do postdoc work at John Hopkins before they ended up relocating to the Chicagoland area where my father was born and raised and where I was born and raised, followed by Mary Lorraine, John Michael, and Emily Jean. My father loved Christmas. He was a devout Catholic, and it seems that it was always his nature to be a dedicated Christian. He also loved tradition and there were many traditions that were integral parts of our family and lives, including the Advent candle and prayers, decorating the Christmas tree and Christmas cookies, singing Christmas carols around the piano, gift exchanges, favorite recipes for Christmas dinner and visits with family & friends. I have so many wonderful, cherished memories of my childhood during Christmastime and in general. Both my parents did an amazing job of gifting us with a wonderful array of experiences and traditions throughout our childhood and lives. My father also loved Christmas as he loved shopping. He loved to shop around for deals, and there were many hours of my childhood spent driving around to various stores and sitting in the parking lot in either the freezing cold or burning hot car while Dad disappeared into countless stores for countless hours searching for Lord knows what best deal on whatever he fancied at the time. He loved technology, especially cameras and video cameras, VCRs, DVDs, and computers, anything Disney or Star Trek related, fun t-shirts and most foods. He would often buy Christmas gifts for himself throughout the year, and then he would have my Mom wrap them for him from "Santa". And then on Christmas Day, he would hand someone his camera and tell them to take a photo of him opening all his special Christmas gifts- from his kids and from "Santa", haha. Such fun times and hilarious memories! He was also very particular and there were countless gifts that I gave him over the years that ended up in the black hole of either the den or the dining room table that he would spend an hour or so clearing once or twice a year just before family arrived for a holiday gathering or other special occasion, including a portrait of him as Spock that I did many moons ago, a print of a portrait of his father, and many more. I know that he loved and appreciated these gifts, I just think they he couldn't figure out where to put them except in his general stashes and piles of special things that he cherished or felt attachment to, which were so plentiful that they filled up a few rooms ;) I have so many vivid and amazing memories of this time of year with my family and especially of my Dad. He was such a fascinating character and human. It was very special for me to paint his portrait and think of what an interesting, brilliant, dedicated, quirky, intense, and at times contradictory man that he was. I love him so much and miss him dearly. I will always be eternally grateful for the countless gifts that he (and also my mother) gave me over the years, including my beautiful property and home on Tuscawilla, but most of all, always being supportive and encouraging of almost everything I always did, especially my artwork. I feel so fortunate and blessed to have had such an amazing father. Thank you Dad aka Papa. Love you more.  Mary Lorraine Predny, Oil on board, 2024. Happy 50th Birthday to this most beautiful soul and spirit, Mary Lorraine Predny.
I started this portrait on Thanksgiving as it was our special holiday together for many years, and I finished just in time to get prints sent out in honor of her birthday and with the hope that everyone could send her soul and spirit some love on this most magical day, the Winter Solstice. While painting Mary's portrait, I tangibly felt her spirit in the room with me, and it brought me incredible joy, happiness, peace and so much love. She sat in the room with me a few times while I painted over the years, and we just listened to music and talked a bit, and sometimes we just sat there in silence and enjoyed each other's presence. It was almost as if she was sitting in the room with me while I painted her portrait. I could even hear her bossing me around and directing me while I was painting her. It was such a beautiful and spiritual process to try to bring her to life in a painting. It's not perfect, mind you, and even looking at it, I see many areas where I was a bit off, but I love it in all it's flaws and imperfection, much like I loved my Mary Lorraine. To me, Mary was one of the most beautiful human beings in the world- physically and spiritually. She was so brilliant, creative, thoughtful, resourceful, witty, and also simple, yet always extremely exciting and a ton of fun to be around. I have so many wonderful memories of amazing adventures that I will always cherish and hold so dear to my heart. I am also a huge believer that nothing can be destroyed or created, and even when our physical manifestation ceases to exist, our soul and spirit lives on for eternity. Even though Mary is no longer physically here with us, she is now our guardian angel, smiling down on us from up above in the heavens and among the stars, moon and sun. Peace and much love to all. Hello, friends! I wanted to share for those in Alachua County that I have some of my art on display for the next few months in the Jack Durrance Auditorium in the Alachua County Administration Building. This is where they hold the Alachua County Board of County Commissioner public meetings, so you may catch a glimpse of them on the televised/ streamed meetings, but of course they are best viewed live and in person. This art display includes oil portraits done over the past couple decades and some photos of moths that I took on my property in handcrafted frames of heritage woods that I made a few years ago. Here is some more information on this program for anyone who is interested: https://alachuacounty.us/news/Article/pages/County-Accepting-Art-for-Loan-and-Display-in-the-Jack-Durrance-Auditorium-2022.aspx Much gratitude to Commissioner Marihelen Wheeler for letting me know about this program and for encouraging me to apply. I am so incredibly appreciative for her support and encouragement, especially the past few years. One of my favorite portraits that I have ever done is of Sojourner Truth, one of my heroes and such an inspiring woman. I was so thrilled to hang her in the Jack Durrance Conference Room for this art display. I put her behind the podium where the public give their input and comments which is symbolic and significant as she was never afraid to speak her truth and story and to advocate for equal rights for woman and African- Americans.  Sojourner Truth, oil on canvas by Laura C Predny MT Promoter (Metallothionein Therapy) I also wanted to give an update that I finished my first bottle of MT Promoter, which was a 90 day supply. It is the "Formulation of 22 nutrients (in a single capsule) designed to improve gene expression of metallothionein (MT) proteins". I have noticed a significant difference already. This is in addition to the nutrient protocol for undermethylation (essentially the Zinc Primer 50 from Brain Science Nutrition). As Dr Walsh says, it is crucial to have normal zinc levels before starting the MT Promoter. See the update below for more information on how to find a Walsh Practitioner. The MT Promoter has shown incredible promise for both Alzheimer's and Autism, which is why I decided to try it as I have documented high functioning autism, which is likely related to my undermethylation. There have been many days in the past couple months where I felt better than I ever have in my life, or at least since I was a child and before my childhood trauma from my brother's tragic accident. This is with zero mind-altering substances other than the nutrients which is incredible considering how much I have struggled with this in the past. It is such a beautiful gift, and I am so grateful for this incredible blessing. Please watch the following video for more information. I have watched it 3 times just to try to wrap my little pea brain around it. Also, I just love and adore Dr Walsh. He is my hero and such a brilliant and incredible human being. I admire and respect him so much. (Also sorry I am still having difficulty with linking things, so you'll have to copy and paste :) https://www.brainsciencenutrition.com/pages/video Lastly, here are a couple blurry photos of some of my art display. (I got a new phone earlier this year and while I like the iPhone just fine, the camera sucks compared to my LG phone. I hope to upgrade some day, but for now, my photos are subpar to say the least. It is also why I have been not been taking many nature photos, although I must admit that it has been nice to live in the moment instead of trying to capture it... :) Love, Me (: LCP)   PSA! https://www.brainsciencenutrition.com/ I recently discovered these compounded nutrients from Brain Science Nutrition that were developed by the brilliant Dr William Walsh. "Brain Science Nutrition provides mass-produced nutrient supplement formulations prescribed by medical practitioners in treatment of chemical imbalances. We are dedicated to assisting families obtain high-purity nutrient combinations at reasonable costs." Since I am sensitive to zinc, especially due to my particular diet, I have been taking the Zinc Primer 25 twice a day with meals (versus the Zinc Primer 50 once a day). I also started taking MT Promoter as it is supposed to be beneficial for persons with autism (and undermethylation). On a similar note, I also discovered about a year and a half ago that I am sensitive to oxalates, which apparently is pretty common for those on the autism spectrum as there is even an Autism Oxalate Project. Zinc and B6 help to break down oxalates, so it all makes perfect sense. I have been on a low oxalate diet overall and am noticing a significant difference, although I am still experience oxalate "dumping". There is honestly not a whole lot of research on oxalate sensitivity yet, and I look forward to seeing future research and insights in these regards. I recommend reading Toxic Superfoods for general knowledge, but I do feel that there is incredible faulty logic and misinformation in this book as well. Regardless, it is a great introduction and some good general information and insights. Also, I recommend just doing a Google search and researching your own information :) We shall see how it goes, and I will be sure to keep you all posted. Any time anyone would like to talk or write about any of these topics- nutrient power/ orthomolecular medicine, biochemistry, autism, undermethylation, diet and nutrition- get in touch any time! Love, me.  Ten years ago today, on Memorial Day 2014, during the eve of the Follow the Sun music festival in Cedar Key, I quite literally followed the bright sweltering sun into the salty blue ocean by driving my shiny new gray Toyota Tacoma TRD Sport approximately 30 miles an hour off the public boat ramp and into the cool, dark waters of the Gulf of Mexico. It is a completely insane but totally true story. I sometimes joke that I drove into the ocean and ended up in paradise since that is what inadvertently led me to my house and property on Tuscawilla, which I consider to be the love of my life, however, I say this facetiously as it is no laughing matter considering that I could have very easily killed myself or God forbid another human being. I have always taken this very seriously and committed myself to doing anything and everything in my power to ensure that this never, ever happens again considering that it was my own fault and negligence for allowing this to happen, and I typically pride myself on taking responsibility for my mistakes. I honestly do not even remember getting into my truck that evening once I left the Seabreeze restaurant. I do not remember turning the key or driving 30 mph off the public boat ramp considering that I was completely blacked out after drinking far too many delicious margaritas that were nearly 90% Patrone. I was not typically one to drink liquor, and I was definitely not one to drink and drive, so this was totally out of character for me. I was out of town, out of my mind, my friends that I thought were coming were not able to make it, and I planned on either pacing myself or sleeping in my truck which I had done a handful of times before, however, when you are in a blacked out, limbic state of being, there is no thinking, just mindlessly doing. I started to gain awareness when suddenly my lights were blinking, and water started to rapidly rise in my truck. I tried unsuccessfully to go in reverse, but it was too late; I was rapidly drifting off into the Gulf of Mexico. I also like to say that a guardian angel was looking out for me that fateful day, because if I was going the opposite direction that I thought I was going, then I would have driven off the road into the water where chances are likely that no one would have seen me. Instead, I drove off the public boat ramp at the end of the main drag in downtown Cedar Key at a time when the streets were lined with people leaving the bars and restaurants, so numerous people saw me and ran over to help me out and pull my truck out of the water. I will be eternally grateful to the kind soul who came up to my window, which I had rolled down by the grace of the gods, and who said to me, “Ma’am, I think you need to get out of your truck. Here, let me help you.” And to the handful of guys who pulled my truck back up the boat ramp. I surely looked like a spectacle standing there soaking wet in my sundress and sandals completely stunned by what had just transpired. It was a total blur and to this day does not even quite seem real, alas, when the Cedar Key Police flashing lights appeared and asked to have a word with me, this was a bit sobering, to say the very least. While I had enough sense to abstain from the breathalizer test, for some insane reason, I thought that I could pass the walking test no problem (not). It made no difference considering the fact that I reeked of alcohol and also naively told the police that yes, I might have had a few drinks. So off to the Levy County Jail I went for the night, and that was the beginning of a long, extremely expensive ordeal that included hiring an attorney and being on probation for a year with monthly trips to Bronson to visit with my PO there. I was quite frankly more than happy to be on probation for this cardinal sin that could have been deadly, not only to myself, but to others. It is truly a miracle that no one was harmed by my negligence, and I was mortified by this fact. It was extremely important for me to reset my neural pathways and to address any underlying issues so that this never, ever happened again. The powers that be were kind enough to grant me a hardship license so I could still drive to work, so I was able to stay in Micanopy as I did not want to move back to Gainesville where I lived for a couple decades, and where I still worked and owned a house. I was living in downtown Micanopy during this time for many roundabout reasons, but I longed to live on some acreage on the outskirts of town. After my “wet reckless” (the term used to refer to a first offense for driving under the influence when you are fortunate enough to hire a decent attorney who can negotiate a reduced sentence, not because I drove into the ocean ; ), my lease was set to expire so I had to decide to stay or where to go, so I started looking on Trulia for some better options, and this is when I found the Tuscawilla Treehouse, my forever home and the true love of my life. The year that I was on probation and stuck here on Tuscawilla sober and immersed in nature when I was not at work was one of the most magical times of my life. I felt truly alive, quite possibly for the first time since I was a child, to be perfectly honest. I always loved nature, hiking, camping, biking, swimming, jogging and the great outdoors, but I was never so tuned in to nature as I became during this time. I felt her healing powers and began to discover the incredible gifts of the vast array of flora and fauna that surrounded me. It was then that I began to become acquainted with our feathered friends, native wildflowers and other plants, trees and wildlife. It filled my heart, mind and soul, and I felt as if I had finally found my home in Micanopy and nature, albeit in a roundabout way, to say the very least. I wanted to share this most memorable story with you all today as I wanted to share with you the incredible gift and blessing that I have received in the past handful of years that was one of the missing links in my life and an underlying cause for my struggles with alcohol and also marijuana over the years. During the DUI class that was required for anyone with an alcohol related driving offense, the instructor stated that 80% of people who received one DUI were repeat offenders with two, three or multiple DUIs. I was determined to be the 20%. It was very easy that first year when I was on probation, of course, but once I did my time, I noticed that I started to fall back into some of the same old patterns, not with driving under the influence since I was typically not one to do that, but of overindulging on too many occasions. When my dear father suddenly departed this world on the 4th of July form cardiac arrest in 2016, I self-medicated and soothed my grieving with wine and weed, my drugs of choice. My father’s sudden death set off another inexplicably insane chain of events and a wild ride on the crazy train with a cast of characters and local nonprofit that is yet another story for a rainy day, or perhaps hurricane week, and that I am still trying to unpack, unfold and make sense of, alas, I digress. In 2018, during some rabbit hole research on health and nutrition, I came across Dr William Walsh and the Walsh Institute, which is a “ 501(c)(3) organization dedicated to unraveling the biochemistry of mental disorders and development of improved clinical treatments through scientific research and medical practitioner education. The organization was founded by William J. Walsh, PhD, FACN, an internationally recognized expert on biochemical imbalances, in 2008. “ https://www.walshinstitute.org/biochemical-individuality--nutrition.html https://www.walshinstitute.org/biochemical-individuality--nutrition.html I read Dr Walsh’s brilliant book, Nutrient Power, and from there I made the decision to get his recommended biochemical testing done, which I did through Mensah Medical out of the Chicagoland area, in conjunction with DHA labs. The biochemical testing is called Advanced Brain Chemistry, and I had this done in January 2019. The test results indicated that I am undermethylated, which is a genetic abnormality that results in low serotonin, dopamine and other neurotransmitters, and which can manifest as so-called mental health issues. I honestly prefer the term ‘biochemical imbalance’ than mental health disorder or mental illness, which is vague and misleading, particularly if one has an imbalance due to a genetic aberration and resulting nutrient deficiencies that lead to a lack of neurotransmitters and the like. Due to the fact that this underlying issue is genetic, unfortunately, it cannot be corrected from diet, drugs, surgery, etc., however, one can take nutrients to counterbalance the genetic lack thereof. Upon receiving the results that I was undermethylated, I also received a list of a handful of nutrients that could help me achieve a better biochemical balance. I have been taking the nutrient protocol for undermethylation ever since, and I have only missed a day or two on very rare occasions. I have noticed an incredible difference in my mental health and wellbeing overall, although I have been experiencing incredible trauma (which I mentioned previously and which I feel has been gender discrimination and gender-based violence in many ways) since 2016, and acute trauma since December 2020, so I have still been struggling in many ways and even more so on countless levels. Needless to say, I have not been black-out drunk one single time since I started the nutrient protocol and since 2019. It is now very easy for me to moderate or abstain. In spite of incredible trauma for personal reasons, and then on top of that, tragically losing my dearest sister, Mary, my life-long best friend, soul sister and soul mate in October 2022 , I have still not been black out drunk one single time. Considering that I struggled with this from 18 through my early 40s, this is incredibly significant for me. One of the reasons that I struggled with addictions for many years was not just due to undermethylation, but also as a result of the incredible childhood trauma of being with my older brother, Christopher, during a tragic accident where he was hit by a delivery truck while we were riding bicycles. I did not see him get hit as we were racing and he was pretty far ahead of me, but I did see him laying on the ground, moaning and his head split open with his brains spilling out and blood gushing out everywhere. This memory was so painful that I blocked it out and to this day, it is a blur and worst nightmare that still haunts me on occasion. I did not receive any therapy in my childhood since I was a good, well-behaved child, and I repressed this deeply traumatic memory for many years, not ever even talking to anyone about it. I am positive that this also contributed to my addictions and self-medicating with alcohol and marijuana starting at age 18. I began the long, healing journey through therapy starting in my late 20s at long last, and I feel that I experienced a real turning point in my childhood PTSD through EMDR therapy in 2017, although I suppose that at times there is trauma and tragedy so intense and deep that it will always be a part of our healing journey in some sense. Ironically, when I was undergoing the EMDR therapy, that is when the current trauma that I am experiencing began, which I like to refer to as the Johnson Monologues, a wild and crazy ride and story for a rainy day (or hurricane week!) as I already mentioned, yet it has also been also one of my most pertinent life lessons and an integral part of my healing journey as well in many ways. After losing my dearest Mary a year and a half ago now, I found myself drifting back to some old habits, although in moderation and not to excess, but still, more frequently than was healthy for my mental health and wellbeing, so at the beginning of this year, I went completely sober for the first few months of the year, and I began to practice mindfulness and group meditation with a local sangha that practices in the Thich Nhat Hahn tradition. I feel that this has been the other missing link in my life- a spiritual community and practice, mindfulness and breathing, and the mind- body connection that I likely have not truly felt since I was a nine year old girl jumping on her bike to ride up to the grocery store down the street with my older brother, Chris. My life and world changed forever that day, and I learned at a very young age about incredible suffering and pain, but also joy and happiness and healing as my brother lived for 25 years in spite of all the odds against him. I was able to purchase my property and beautiful home sweet home place in 2016 thanks to Chris in many ways, and also thanks to my dear father and thoughtful mother, and the rest of my family. I am truly blessed and so fortunate in so many ways to be gifted with these silver linings and incredible opportunities as a result of the intense trauma and tragedy that I have endured. So many people suffer incredible trauma and do not ever receive any gifts from the universe, so I count my blessings every single day (well, I try my best although I do have my forgetful moments since I am only human). Losing my Mary on top of everything else that I have endured the past decade and my whole life, honestly, really sent me reeling and into a deep, dark depression the past year, but thanks to the many tools that I have discovered in the past decade- the nutrient protocol, the EMDR, mindfulness and breathing, and nature immersion, I feel that I am now probably in the best headspace, time and place in my life thus far in most ways. My mind feels clearer than it has ever been, and my heart feels open and full of love for myself and for life. I have dreams and visions of a future filled with landscape management, a small native flora nursery, woodworking on the side, permaculture/ homesteading and oil painting on occasion. As I say to myself every day in the tradition of Thay as I do walking meditation on the trail that I made around the perimeter of my beautiful property, “I have arrived. I am home. In the here and the now. I am solid. I am free. In the Ultimate I dwell.” Thank you to the Universe, Mother Earth, Father Time, my family, especially Chris, Dad & Mary (RIP III), Francine Shapiro, PhD (founder of EMDR), Dr William Walsh, Rosalyn and Jimmy Carter, Eleanor Roosevelt, Bryan Stevenson, Thich Nhat Hahn, and Tuscawilla. Thank you so much for reading and for caring. Love you. Love, me  Dear friends. I have some heartbreaking news to share as last October I lost the person closest to my heart and mind, my sweet younger sister, Mary Lorraine. She had honestly been suffering in physical pain for well over the past decade, and it took a devastating turn for the worse a couple years ago. Here is the reading that I wrote in tribute to Mary for a memorial service that we held for her at her home sweet beautiful home in Floyd, Virginia in April, followed by a memorial slideshow that we made for her. Such a beautiful life, soul and spirit- gone far too soon, but of course she will always live on very close in our hearts and minds.. A Eulogy for Mary Lorraine Predny Thank you all so much for joining us in celebrating the beautiful life, soul, and spirit of Mary Lorraine Predny. It is so incredibly special that you all are here with us today as many of you know that even though Mary was a highly introverted wallflower of sorts, she was one of the most exquisite blooms that ever existed. Of course, I am a little biased since she was my sweet younger sister born a mere year and a half after me, so our hearts, souls and minds were always very much intertwined, but if you are here today, then you got to witness, appreciate, and enjoy Mary’s beauty, brilliance, creativity and many talents at some point in time. Mary was extremely private and reserved to a majority of those she encountered but to those she trusted and liked enough to let into her guarded life, she was a hidden but cherished treasure with a heart of gold and an incredibly rich mind. Perhaps you knew Mary through one of her many talents- music, dancing, farming, crafting- and you got a glimpse of her brilliant, bright sparkling light that will never fade but will live on in heaven and the stars now for eternity. I came across the following simple poem in the past month that really resonated with me since it has felt very heartbreaking and so unfair to lose Mary so young. God saw you getting tired, when a cure was not meant to be. So She wrapped her arms around you, and whispered, “Come to me.”& You didn’t deserve what you went through, So She gave you rest. God’s garden must be beautiful, She only takes the best. And when I saw you sleeping, So peaceful and free from pain, I could not wish you back To suffer that again. Even though it is so tragic to lose the person I felt closest to & one of my favorite human beings of all-time, I have been comforted knowing that she is no longer in pain and that she is not suffering any more as she had honestly been for nearly the past decade. I would like to read to you from some cards that Mary sent me for my birthday last year as she was worried about me due to my turbulent astrological forecast during that time. They are poems from one of Mary’s favorite poets, Mary Oliver, and I feel they are a perfect reflection of Mary’s true heart and mind. The first poem is called, “Hello, Sun in my face” Hello, you who make the morning and spread it over the fields and into the faces of the tulips and the nodding morning glories and the windows of, even, the miserable and the crotchety- Best preacher that ever was, Dear star, that just happens to be where you are in the universe to keep us from ever-darkness to ease us with warm touching, to hold us in the great hands of light- good morning, good morning, good morning. Watch now how I start the day in happiness, in kindness. “When I am Among the Trees” When I am among the trees, especially the willows, and the honey locust, equally the beech, the oaks and the pines, they give off such hints of gladness. I would almost say that they save me, and daily. I am so distant from the hope of myself, in which I have goodness, and discernment, and never hurry through the world but walk slowly and bow often. Around me the trees stir in their leaves and call out “Stay awhile.” the light flows from their branches. And they call again, “It’s simple,” they say, “and you too have come into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled with light, and to shine.” “The Poet Compares Human Nature to the Ocean From Which We Came” The sea can do craziness, it can do smooth, it can lie down like silk breathing or toss havoc shoreward; it can give gifts or withhold all; it can rise, ebb, froth like an incoming frenzy of fountains, or it can sweet-talk entirely. As I can too, and so, no doubt, can you, and you “Wild Geese” You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world goes on. Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers. Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clear blue air, are heading home again. Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting- over and over announcing your place in the family of things. Next, I would like to read one more Mary Oliver poem from her book Dog Songs. “How it is with us, and How it is with them” We become religious, then we turn from it, then we are in need, and maybe we turn back. We turn to making money, then we turn to the moral life, Then we think about money again. We meet beautiful people, but lose them in our busyness. We’re, as the saying goes, all over the place. Steadfastness, it seems, is more about dogs than about us. One of the reasons we love them so much. I really love and appreciate the line “We meet Wonderful people, but lose them in our Busyness.” In this day and age of overwhelming technology and information, I believe this really rings true, and it was sadly especially true during the pandemic the past couple years while Mary was really struggling through her back surgeries. I think we all wish we could have given Mary more of our time, attention and love as it is only natural to feel this way. Of course no one is to blame, and I think even if I came here to kidnap her and bring her down near me, which I felt inclined to do, Mary did not want to be reliant on anyone else. She wanted her body to be as free and wild as her soul and spirit. She is at peace now, and I hope that can comfort all of you as well. A few days before Mary left us, ironically I sent her a message that said, “They tried to bury me, but they didn’t realize that I was a seed.”, and I wholeheartedly believe that Mary is now not just one seed, but many seeds- in each of us and all the lives that she touched. Let the memory of Mary Lorraine Predny be a seed that blooms in you by living life to your fullest- by playing music, by dancing like no one is watching, by growing your own organic food, by crafting your own creations, by going for a walk in nature and really taking the time to appreciate the flowers, trees and wildlife, by living a simple but beautiful life, by taking the time to send a message or call a loved one, by saying I am sorry, by learning to reflect instead of react, by taking a pause in the busyness of your life to help out and be there for your friends, family and neighbors. Plant seeds in Mary’s memory, not only to grow food and flowers but also to grow love, kindness and compassion in her honor. Lastly, I’d like to read some thoughts from a note Mary left me just previous to her departure. Dear Laura, “… I believe that we have a soul that continues on after our body is gone, and I will always be looking out for you and sending you love and light. Anytime you need to talk to me, go for a walk in nature and talk to me- and I will wish I could be there with you.” Even though Mary is not here physically with us today, she is here in spirit and soul, smiling down on all of us, on her chosen ones who truly loved and appreciated all her beauty. We will now watch a slideshow video that we put together of Mary Lorraine’s most beautiful life… To view the slideshow with audio, see below: Love, Laura |
Me: LPArchives
February 2025
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