Conservation and Civil Rights

This evening I am writing on a more somber and serious note. For over 4 years now, my basic civil rights, human rights and ADA rights for documented high-functioning autism have been violated here in Alachua County. It has truly been by far the most profoundly unsettling and traumatic experience that I have ever endured in my life, and I grew up with incredible trauma as I have mentioned in the past. My childhood trauma was from an accident that was no one's fault, and no one was to blame, even though I did blame myself for many years. I have worked past this negative tendency and no longer shoulder the burden of Chris's accident or other things that I cannot control. 

This situation has been related to being a female landowner and the ecology of Lake Tuscawilla, an Audubon Bird Sanctuary. It is related to speaking my mind, my truth and my story. It is also related to the tendency of persons with autism to be honest to a fault, to overshare, and to be repetitive at times, especially when there is an incredible injustice or when we feel that we are not being heard and that we are instead being ignored and dismissed, especially for extremely unfair, sexist reasons. 

This situation is related to Alachua Conservation Trust, who is even listed on my Tuscawilla Estates Homeowner list for Land Management concerns. I have had legitimate land management concerns, but because of the fact that I am a woman, no one is listening to me or taking me seriously. It seems that when you are a woman, people seem to think that your world revolves around a man as this is what we have been conditioned to believe for various reasons.
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This situation has been happening during the entire time that ACT has been professing to support women as it began in 2016. This situation has been happening ever since the Me, Too movement went viral in 2017 and everyone was jumping on the bandwagon to promote women's rights and gender equality. ACT was professing to empower and support women and even received funding for their "Women in the Woods" Program during this time and the whole entire time that I have been suffering what I feel has been incredible gender bias and gender discrimination. I even feel that I have been experiencing gender-based violence from ACT- for over 8 years now, with the past 4 years of acute, complex trauma. This is due to the fact that they (ACT) have actually made numerous false statements and vicious personal attacks in a court of law and also throughout the entire community. This includes numerous staff members, the director, the founder, many board members, and so many complicit persons that it is shocking. 
Meanwhile, not one single person from ACT has ever taken the time to speak to me due to their bylaws and also because I feel that I have been sabotaged for some reason. I do not know exactly why or the whole truth, but I do know that I have been blocked, excluded and viciously verbally attacked and dehumanized by this entire organization, which is definitely gender-based violence and emotional abuse. 

I feel that the incredible imbalance of power between organizations & entities and individuals is a very serious issue in our country and world. It is the impetus behind the Me, Too movement as well as the Boy Scout perversion files, the rampant abuse in the Catholic Church, and many more examples. No human being should ever have to even attempt to battle with a whole organization, much less a non-profit conservation trust who has incredible connections throughout the county, especially in the government.

I now see exactly how these things happen. It is happening to me right now, and it has been for over 4 years now which is unbelievable. I have written extensively about my experience, which I feel has been a terrible nightmare experience. I have contacted probably hundreds of people, including institutions and entities that are supposed to be in place to help people who are suffering from a crisis, and abusive experience. Instead of listening to me and believing me, people are inclined to victim-blame and pass judgement upon me for having this insanely traumatic experience that has genuinely felt like the worst nightmare that I have ever endured, however. I have never had an experience like this ever before in my life, but it does not seem to matter or make any difference whatsoever. I now know how it feels to be victim-blamed, especially throughout the community that I used to love, and even by old friends that I have known for over 30 years. I feel that this is a direct result of an ongoing conflict and incredible division with an extremely popular and influential nonprofit conservation trust.

Meanwhile, I have been asking and even begging to please engage in dialogue, problem solve and build peace. Instead, I have been ignored, dismissed, silenced, blocked, excluded, smeared, slandered, financially penalized, socially penalized, denied countless opportunities, viciously attacked in the legal system and basically criminalized- by a conservation trust and essentially because I am a single female with high-functioning autism. At least this is my own personal perspective and experience. I am most certainly not perfect, and I have surely said and done some very impolite things due to the repeated and complex trauma that hijacked my brain, but I am typically a nice, kind, thoughtful, hardworking woman, and I genuinely feel that I have never deserved any of this situation. 

I have never even asked for help ever before in my life, but I do feel that I need help as I cannot battle with a powerful, popular, well-connected organization by myself. This is having such a devastating impact on my life, my mental health, my wellbeing, my physical health, and pretty much every single aspect of my life. 

Thank goodness that I have a few dear friends who have tried to be supportive and who have tried to help me, even though they are at a total loss as our legal system is so insane and convoluted that it is unreal and shocking to me. As a result of this repeated trauma, I hardly talk to anyone any more. I feel a shell of my former self, although I am healing and trying my best to find purpose in the midst of this shocking and profoundly disturbing experience. 

There is one man listed on paper, but it is not even about him, and I honestly do not even blame him. I blame systemic gender bias and discrimination. I have stated this repeatedly, but it has made zero difference. Nothing has made a difference, not even the fact that he moved across the country two and a half years ago at this point, and no longer even resides in Alachua County. I assumed that the civil injunction would be dismissed as a result, however, I was sorely mistaken. It was stated that he still owns a house here, however, he rents it out. He said he is still "extremely concerned for his safety" even though I have never threatened him or anyone else ever in my life. It is such a joke, although it is not funny in the least whatsoever. He seems like a good, hardworking person overall, and I would like to give him the benefit of the doubt, however, this situation has been extremely unsettling and not normal. Also, when I stated that this was my Me, Too experience, it is not because I experienced sexual assault or abuse; it is because of the imbalance of power and the gender bias, discrimination and gender-based violence. I do feel that I experienced gaslighting, although I forgive that by this point. 

I also strongly believe that the civil injunction was filed on me back in December 2020 as a result of writing to the Alachua County Board of Commissioners during a virtual Police Reform Forum. I wrote about my experience and perspective and sent an email during this time, and I inadvertently used specific names as I was honestly not thinking about it being public record and even attached to Google search. Shortly thereafter, the civil injunction was filed in order to get the information redacted. They lied and exaggerated the situation in order to get the civil injunction, and I now have public records to actually prove this undeniable fact. Writing to the BoCC is free, protected speech per the precious First Amendment, and the civil injunction has been a blatant violation of this basic civil right- for over 4 years now. I do not forgive this as it should never be acceptable. 

Regardless of the reasons and rationale, filing a civil injunction against a woman with documented high-functioning autism should never be normalized, especially considering that I am not willful, malicious or violent at all whatsoever, and that I actually have always had legitimate purpose in this situation. Paying a female attorney (whose father was a judge) to repeat numerous outright lies and to viciously and verbally attack another woman in court who has documented high-functioning autism should also never be normalized.

I even offered to apologize for any harm that I have caused or anyone that I have inadvertently embarrassed or been impolite to, but it has made no difference whatsoever.
It is all very disturbing and unsettling for me to endure this situation and to not be able to find anyone who is able to help me. From my personal experience and perspective, most everyone turns a blind eye, especially since they feel helpless and powerless against our legal system. Since I cannot afford an attorney and do not have thousands of dollars to spend to defend myself, then this situation has been perpetuated for over 4 years now. Again, this is not only against a man, but a whole entire organization who I feel has been telling numerous outright lies, and who has also engaged in gaslighting against me. They have  used their countless connections to silence and oppress me for many years now, and I am wondering what in the world that am I supposed to do? 

There is also an excellent chance that it is not just the man listed on paper, but that I am experiencing retaliation from ACT, the entire organization, again, a nonprofit conservation trust. Numerous extremely mean, cruel and abusive statements have been made to me in court- by ACT, the organization. I have suffered a vicious smear campaign not just from an individual, but from this entire organization who has dehumanized and demonized me to literally everyone, in spite of the fact that I am an autistic female landowner doing my best to manage 30 acres that are predominately wetlands by myself for 10 years now, and in spite of incredible personal loss, including my father and dearest sister. 

Meanwhile, I have asked on repeat to please engage in dialogue, problem solve and build peace for many years now. Instead of doing so, everything has been compiled and used against me in retaliation- by a conservation trust. 

I feel that they justify this by saying that I mentioned suicide in the past, and that I own firearms, but I have never thought about shooting myself as I am not a violent person. Also, if they actually truly cared about my mental health, then I would not be blocked, excluded and viciously attacked by a female attorney who knows nothing about me and my property. I would not be smeared and slandered by this nonprofit conservation trust throughout the whole community. I would be listened to, believed, included, and respected if they actually, truly cared about my mental health and wellbeing. The attorney is of course just verbally attacking me because a man is paying her thousands of dollars to do so. Either way, it is disturbing and abusive. I feel that it is about power and control, that it is not normal and that it should never be normalized.  Also, for the record, I do not feel suicidal any longer as I have found tools to deal with my pain and suffering. I now need to find someone to please help me to put this nightmare, highly traumatic situation behind me.


I had no idea that it was even possible to have an experience such as this, especially with a conservation trust in my own community. I know that I have not always been mindful as I have been quite angry and upset- for good reasons. It has all been acute, complex trauma for me, and again, I have never in my life ever felt that I needed help or even asked before. It should not be so difficult to find someone who has the capacity to help me build peace with a conservation trust and even the conservation cemetery where I planned on being buried some day. 

In the future, once I am able to move past this nightmare at long last, I plan on reaching out to legislators in regards to civil injunctions being unconstitutional and an abuse of civil rights, especially by powerful men and other individuals as well as influential organizations. I also hope to help and advocate for others who have experienced similar situations. I also plan on advocating for changes in policies and procedures at all organizations and entities, and lastly, for term limits on all boards, especially powerful organizations such as a nonprofit conservation trust. Many board members at ACT have been on the board for over a decade and as a result, there is incredible group mentality and even gang mentality here. There are term limits for the county advocacy boards for a reason, and the same limitations need to be implemented at ACT as well, particularly as they partner with the county and receive incredible federal and local funding. 

If anyone reading this has any connections that could possibly help me, I still really need help. It has been over 4 years now. It is having a crippling impact on my life in numerous ways. All I want at this point is kindness, compassion, inclusion, acceptance and peace. All I want is my basic civil rights restored and respected in Alachua County. I am extremely forgiving and understanding, and I am not a willful, malicious person who has any interest in retaliation or retribution. I just want peace, inclusion and acceptance in my community and to be empowered and supported as a female landowner. 

Thank you so much for reading and for caring. 

​Love, me: (LCP :)