Since I have mentioned many times now that I have documented high-functioning autism, I wanted to share a bit more information on this fascinating topic. High- functioning autism was formerly referred to as Aspergers, but since there were many overlapping characteristics, they changed the official diagnosis in the DSM-5 in 2013. "Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a developmental disorder that is characterized, in varying degrees, by repetitive behaviors and difficulties with social interaction and verbal and nonverbal communication. The ASD diagnosis once included Autistic Disorder, Asperger Syndrome, Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, and other disorders; however, in June 2013, all autism disorders were merged into one umbrella diagnosis of ASD in the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder (DSM 5). " I just received an official diagnosis a few years ago, but I have been aware that I may be on the spectrum pretty much the past decade, largely after reading the following article in Scientific American: Autism: It's Different in Girls https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/autism-it-s-different-in-girls/ I could identify extremely well with what they said in that article as well as much other research that I have read on the topic in the past decade. Previous to that, I did the Autism Quotient Quiz numerous times and always found it interesting that I scored fairly high as I did not think that I had typical autism traits. I always thought that my struggles and issues were largely related to my childhood PTSD. I also read the interesting book, NeuroTribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity, by Steve Silberman which also made me feel as if I am definitely a neurodiverse individual. Some of the challenges for me of being a female with autism is that it is not as apparent as it seems to be in most males, although every autistic individual is different. My brain does not work like an average brain, and I frequently get confused by simple things that may seem obvious to others. It is almost like some of my neural pathways or wires are crossed and what may seem obvious to some is not necessarily so to me. I also tend to take things literally at times, and legitimately get confused by things that may seem simple and straightforward to others. It honestly happens to me all the time. Misunderstanding is very common with autistic persons since it is a communication disorder. Some people may assume that a person with autism is being manipulative or deceptive, but typically this is not true in the least whatsoever. I feel that I frequently have this problem for some reason, especially in the past few years. I often feel misunderstood, especially in my writings. I know that I can come across quite condescending and even impolite at times. I can also be very repetitive, especially when I do not feel heard or acknowledged or when I am anxious. Change and uncertainty are also extremely difficult for me as are vague circumstances and variables. I also have issues with being honest to a fault, literally speaking, and also to oversharing information. I tend to not have the same filters that an average person does, which can be quite problematic in our society. People might not believe that I have autism as I seem quite normal, however, I can assure them that if they spent a day or two in my brain, that it would be crystal clear. Another problem is that some people seem to think that an autistic person can just change the way their brain works and that they have control over some of these issues, but it is not all that different than one who has dyslexia. They would not be expected to suddenly be able to read or think like an average person, either. A blind person would not be expected to suddenly be able to see if they want to, and a person without legs could not just walk without an assistive device of some sort. It is not all that different. One cannot simply will their brain to be different than it is. Persons with autism do not necessarily have control over their anxiety, challenges with communication or repetitive behaviors. That is not to say that one cannot change and redirect their neural pathways, but it is not as easy as it might seem, which is why it is considered a "disorder". I love the following TED Talk by a young woman with autism. She talks about masking, which I have been doing nearly my whole life. I am really trying to accept myself and to practice self-love instead of being critical or beating myself up for being so different than most other human beings. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KPK5sMar5w The best book that I have read on the subject is actually my favorite book, Nutrient Power by Dr William Walsh, PhD. He has the world's largest database on the biochemistries of autistic persons. He has identified that there is typically an underlying mechanism behind autism, which is often undermethylation. Undermethylation is a genetic aberration of sorts. When one is undermethylated, they are not producing enough methyl, which affects all basic genetic processes, including the production of various neurotransmitters such as dopamine, serotonin, GABA, etc. As a result, one might develop coping mechanisms that seem peculiar in response to this lack of methyl. It makes perfect sense when you stop to really think about it. I have been on a nutrient protocol to compensate for this lack of methyl now for 6 years. I have noticed a significant difference, although I am not all of a sudden a "normal" person. I do still have autism and my brain still functions quite differently than the average person. The nutrients make it easier for me to deal with life so that I am not self-medicating with mind-altering substances such as alcohol or marijuana. I can now moderate and self-soothe and feel good in my own skin and body for the most part, especially now that I have made meditation and mindfulness a daily practice in my life. I still have been experiencing incredible trauma as I mentioned below, however. I feel that it is definitely related to being on the autism spectrum as I have been repetitive as I felt that I was being treated with incredible injustice and also gender discrimination. It has been extremely upsetting and unsettling for me to be blocked, excluded and verbally attacked, essentially by a conservation trust for having autism. I strongly believe that it is also a violation of my ADA rights as well as my human rights. At least that is my perspective and experience. I am always open to hearing other's perspectives and experience and to constructive criticism, however. I am most certainly not a perfect person, although I don't know too many people who are. I believe that this is why communication and conflict resolution are so important, especially in this day and age. They say that birds of a feather flock together, and surely most of my friends and my 'tribe' is also likely autistic or neurodiverse, so Lord knows most of us are flawed and conflicted characters. This is all the more reason to work on communication skills and to engage in dialogue and attempt to problem solve to clear up miscommunication and misunderstanding. Here is a quote from NeuroTribes that I love ( I also posted it on Facebook previously, but for some weird reason, it was reported and deleted- I suppose because it offended someone.. :). I believe that this quote is appropriate for all neurodiverse individuals: “We claim- not on the basis of theory, but on the basis of our experiences with many children like this- that this boy’s positive and negative qualities are two natural, necessary, interconnected aspects of one well-knit, harmonious personality. We could express it this way: this boy’s difficulties- which particularly affect his relationships with himself and other people- are the price that he has to pay for his special gifts.” Hans Asperger, as quoted in NeuroTribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity by Steve Silberman. Here are a few more interesting links if anyone is interested: How to Support Mental Health in Autistic People: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_support_mental_health_in_autistic_people Autistic Adults May be Erroneously Perceived as Deceptive and Lacking Credibility: https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-021-04963-4 Comments are closed.
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January 2025
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